Life can sometimes hand us unexpected curveballs, but how we respond is key.  Are you a reactor or a responder?  Do you know the difference?

If you lead a busy life and carry out many responsibilities, it can be a challenge to stay in the present moment.  You have rent, car notes and all of the other endless bills required to keep your machine running. So oftentimes when conflicts or disappointments arise, they will completely stop your momentum and probably send you into a panic.  All of a sudden you can’t sleep and you become irritable and difficult to be around.  You are in a state of reacting and what many experts refer to as the “fight or flight” response.  When it was announced on the news that Covid-19 was now in the US and we were headed for some lockdowns, were you one of the people buying up all the toilet paper? If so, you are a REACTOR.  At this point you don’t even realize that you have thrown everything into a tailspin and rational thought is not even an option.

The biggest difference between a reactor and a responder, is a responder is able to step back for a moment, remove your emotions and move forward with a well thought-out plan.  When you able to stay calm in a life-threatening situation, it can literally save lives. You make rational decisions so that it won’t have to have a negative effect on the people around you.  A responder is prepared for conflicts because they understand that this is part of the rhythm of life.  They learn to prepare for alternative outcomes in every situation and are not easily swayed when in the throws of a conflict.

Some very valuable ideas to assist you in staying calm and stengthening your Responder skills are:

1.Evaluate the Facts – sometimes we overreact without knowing the facts of a situation.  Imagine how much wasted energy you would save if instead of panicking, you gathered your thoughts and did some investigating to choose the best plan of action.

2.Get Your House in Order – nothing brings more relief than having an emergency plan.  Don’t wait for a crisis to take action.  Start by creating an emergency fund since no one can think straight when they don’t know where their next meal is coming from. If you have insurance policies, make sure that the premiums are always current.

3. Practice Deep Breathing – taking in oxygen will instantly calm the entire system.  When you can quiet your thoughts and just focus on the breath, this will restore your sense of peace and calm and slow down your heart rate.  When you’re in a calm state you will make more rational decisions.

4. Get regular exercise, stay hydrated and eat a well-balanced diet.  When you take care of yourself it is much easier to regulate your emotions.  Fast food diets and excessive intake of caffeine or sugar can add extra doses of stress to the body.  Choose an exercise activity that you enjoy so that you will be consistent.  Exercise allows you to release tension and eliminate any stored up toxins in the body.

5. Limit your intake of social media.  Facebook, Instagram, Twitter are filled with Reactors.  It is a community that supports propaganda and attracts people with “shiny object” syndrome (looking for the next best thing) which will add to your anxiety.  

6. Seek Support when needed.  You are a rockstar in many areas of your life so it’s okay to get the support you need if you feel unraveled.  Counseling can make a huge difference in your overall well-being and improve your relationships in every area of your life.

I offer in-depth counseling sessions to assist you in breaking free from your worries in a safe, effective way.  If you are interested in scheduling a FREE consultation, please send an email to


Pin It on Pinterest