With divorce rates on the rise during this unprecedented time, couples need guidance and support now more than ever. So, how do you take care of your own mental health and check-in with your partner at the same time? You may have suffered a recent job loss and/or personal loss and could use some encouragement right about now. Oh! And of course, we can’t forget the kids! If you are parents and your children are now home 24/7, believe me, I GET IT (but that’s a whole other blog)!! I have put together some useful tips for you if you’re looking for a boost to bring some romance back into your relationship.
1. Your mindset is everything, so the first thing I recommend is for you to bring your thoughts and emotions into a clear memory of feeling romantic and intense love for your partner. Sit with this emotion for a few moments and once it becomes a vivid picture, bring it into the present moment and imagine that it is happening right now. Allow yourself to enjoy this feeling and let go of any thoughts that take you away from this state.
2. By now you probably know your partner pretty well, so when it comes to romance, what would make them smile and inspire them to share in that love space with you? Would it be a sweet heartfelt note letting them know how much you mean to them? Would it be offering to tidy up or surprise them with their favorite breakfast? Pay attention to the things they say when it comes to their happiness factor and let them know you hear them. Think of 2-3 things and then do them consistently for the next two weeks. A one-time gesture will not build trust and intimacy.
3. You can suggest learning a new skill together that brings you both joy. This is a great time to get out in nature, so maybe you can explore hiking trails, go mountain biking, or even try camping. If you have a backyard, it might even be fun to set up a tent and even camp out there, just like when you were little kids. If your partner isn’t into the outdoors, you can suggest something like taking a salsa dance class online or learn to make a delicious meal together.
4. Order a meal from your favorite restaurant and set up a romantic evening with decor and a great playlist. To make it really creative, send them a special invitation with a dress code so it really feels like a date night or special event.
5. Always check in with your partner and let them know you care about them and they are not alone. In times of uncertainty, feelings of isolation can set in, even in a partnership. Engage in conversations about future plans like your next big trip somewhere, or doing a fun activity that you haven’t been able to do during the quarantine. When you run out of ideas, seek out support when needed. You are not alone.
For more information on counseling services to support you during this time, please visit this link.
I would love to hear how these tips are working for you. Stay safe & be well.
Rev. Dr. Samora- C.Hyp., NLP Prac., Dr. of Spiritual Coaching, Interfaith Counselor